Spiritual Divorce

A divorce is many things to many people.  I have known women who do not allow themselves to recover from the trauma of an intense divorce, who decide to hold deep sadness and resentment as part of their very being. It becomes what defines them.  They are 'divorced'. That's it. They stay in exile with depression and self pity and forget every single positive memory of their relationship. I started called my ex husband my 'former husband' about 2 years after we agreed life together was not going to be our destiny. I tried to stop using the word divorce and take an honest look at the entire spectrum of our relationship - the good and the bad and to face my future with incredible optimism. Divorce was a comma, not a period. It was just one more of life's great lessons and I can honestly say that 3 years on I am a completely different woman. I have a depth of understanding about myself that I never in a million years would have achieved as a wife.

Debbie Ford is a writer I have always admired after experiencing a workshop she did with Deepak Cho pra in La Jolla at the Chopra Center.  She has written a book called Spiritual Divorce which I highly recommend. She believes that the excruciating pain of divorce can lead to enormous spiritual growth. "Emotional turmoil can be a powerful catalyst to reconnect us with our divine nature," she writes. "It propels us into a journey of self discovery and urges us to learn how to love and accept our entire being." Herein lies the promise of a "spiritual divorce."

Its a fresh perspective, thoughtful and important. Ms Ford identifies divorce as "one of the darkest times in most people's lives." Then leveraging the popular tenets of 12-step programs and A Course in Miracles, she advises readers to view divorce as a "spiritual wake-up call" that "propels us to a journey of self-discovery," an opportunity to learn the lessons sent by the Universe or God, to "align with the destiny of our higher selves and our soul's purpose."